Kath talks about her experience joining AWP and becoming a cotrainer

A year ago, I heard about a local group designed for autistic adults. After a lot of anxiety, I finally signed up and registered. That was in December 2023.

In January 2024, I saw they had a café meetup for a hot drink and cake. It was just after the Christmas holidays, and I was feeling really low. My anxiety was through the roof, and I had been stuck at home for two weeks. I knew I was at risk of staying in that rut for much longer if I didn’t do something.

I had never openly talked about my autism—only a few people knew—but I summoned all the courage I could and decided to go. I bought my own coffee and sat away from everyone else because I wasn’t even sure if I’d be welcome. Then I saw a friendly face, and they introduced themselves. I still sat apart, unsure of my place, but by the end of the lunchtime meetup, someone asked if I was going to breakfast on Thursday. I agreed—and at the breakfast meetup, I sat with them.

That was the beginning.

As I said at the start, I didn’t openly talk about my autism. I remember we did a few workshops—I can’t even recall what they were for now—but it was a lovely group where we shared our difficulties. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was in the right place.

I could write pages about why The Autism Wellbeing Project (AWP) has helped me and my son, but the truth is simple: my life has changed for the better because I met everyone in this group. To me, it feels like a big family, and I only wish I had found them sooner.

Because of them, I’ve gained the strength and confidence to say: I count. I matter. I am good enough.

It hasn’t been easy. My son, who is also autistic and has a learning disability, is a big part of my life, and there are always challenges. But despite everything, I completed the Oliver McGowan training. I was supported through it, and I even went on to co-deliver a training session. Before the session, I was terrified—I didn’t think I’d even make it into the room, let alone get through the whole thing. I felt physically sick. But I had so much support during the preparation, during the training itself, and afterward. And when I finished, the feeling was incredible.

I did it. Me—the person who, a year ago, couldn’t even speak up in a small group to say hello. I stood in front of a room full of strangers and talked about my experiences. And the wildest part? I actually want to do it again.

No one has ever given me the level of trust, support, and belief that AWP has. Some people in my life have tried, but it has been rare—nothing like what I have felt from this group. I knew, without a doubt, that if I stumbled, they would catch me. That trust gave me confidence because I knew they had my back. It’s such a strange yet wonderful feeling to know that each and every one of them was there for me. And I almost forgot to mention—my son goes too, and he absolutely loves everyone.

A year ago, I wouldn’t have even considered joining a Zoom call. Now, I not only join them, but I have my camera on—because I know it’s a safe space, just like everything AWP does.

The best feeling in the world is knowing that people genuinely believe in you, trust you, and want you to succeed. In the past, when people encouraged me to “give it a go,” it often felt like they were waiting for me to fail, ready to knock me down when I did. My whole life, I’ve encountered people like that—people who only support you if they can prove they’re better than you.

But AWP is different.

For the first time, people didn’t just say, “You can do this”—they showed me, absolutely and completely, that they believed in me. And not just me, but all of us. With their support, I’ve learned something huge about myself: I am worthy. I am good enough. I can do this. And I am so very proud of myself and of all of us. Together, we are an amazing unit, a true group, a family.

Today is the 31st of January 2025.

Today is a good day. I’m keeping busy. I know I have a lot on, but I’m not afraid. I’m actually smiling from the inside.

Why? Because I feel good about myself. I’m not scared or embarrassed. I’m still not ready to open myself up to the whole world just yet, but those who need to know, those in my safe space, know me for me. I’m getting stronger. I’m learning not to be afraid of being a little silly, of being honest, of being kind.

This month, I have achieved so much, but I’ve only shared it with the people who knew how petrified I was. Those people had my back, my front, and my sides. They had nothing to gain from supporting me—except the joy of seeing me shine.

Last week, I stood up in front of 20 people and delivered my first training session. I was scared—really scared. It was the first time I had stepped that far out of my comfort zone. But knowing I had AWP and Nikki there to support me, I actually did it. The words came out. I didn’t run or hide. I thought about it for a second, but I didn’t.

That’s why I marked today’s date. Today is the day I truly believed in myself. The day I felt happy to be me. The day I knew and trusted the people who had shown they believe in me.

And the best part? I’m looking forward to doing it all again—because I know people actually listened to me.

I am proud to be me. I am proud to be part of AWP. And I am proud to be doing the Oliver McGowan Expert by Experience training.